Questions

• Which in class writing was your favorite? Why? I would have to say my favorite in class writing was the "this I believe" essay. It was a reflection on what I actually believe in and what inspires me in life. It was awesome reading other peoples thoughts on life as well. 
• Which in class writing was your least favorite? Why? I would have to say the traits. Although I didn't hate writing about the traits we did in class. Out of all it was my least favorite. It did make me laugh a bunch but it was the hardest to write for me. Which I guess isn't a bad thing. I just usually don't have any issues writing.
• Review all your writing chronologically (earliest to latest). List three interesting observations or changes in your writing. Which are the most profound (obvious and important)? Why? Before I used so many useless verbs, now I am trying to use different words that draw the reader into my writing a little more. I actually enjoy writing when I used to not enjoy it at all. It has helped me cope with many stresses going on in life and I have been finding myself writing at home in the mornings when I wake up with things on my mind. I use a lot more detail and am able to draw the reader into my writing.
• If you could change anything about your writing this semester what would it be? Why? I would try and write about more optimistic things. My thought process on life has changed drastically since actually doing well in school and I would like to share more about it. 
• What did you like best about this course? I was drawn in immediately. I enjoyed the teaching and also the positive messages that were brought into the course. I was never bored. It helped with my schooling in general. 
• What did you like least about this course? The powerpoint presentation. I was laughing about it the whole time but thinking what is this for necessarily?
• What would you have done differently this semester if you could have a do-over? Maybe in my computers class I would have done all of the work instead of missing some. I would have an A instead of a B.
• What did learn about yourself as a student, a thinker, a writer this semester? I am capable of much more than I thought before. I can actually write and enjoy reading what i have written not thinking it is just boring. I am so much more focused in school as a student. I want to succeed and get a degree when 6 years ago I couldn't have cared less. My thinking is more focused, I am much happier as a human being.
• What could I, Ms. A., have done differently to improve the course? Honestly I enjoyed your class a bunch. It was my favorite off all I have been in. I enjoy your teaching method and it was fun having you as a college teacher. 
• You begin this course with an engagement and participation score of an A.  Attendance, participation in activities and group work help you to maintain this grade.  Evaluate yourself and assign yourself a grade for the in class portion of this course.  Don’t forget the reasoning behind your self assigned grade. I would say I have done well. I have missed a few days but never during vital moments. For example the powerpoint presentation I missed one day but was here for the presentation. I didn't miss any of the writings we had to do. I of course want an A in every class I participate in, but I am not the teacher. If I were to make the decision myself I would say confidently I have earned a high B to an A.

Blue

                When I think of Blue I think of the ocean. Such a beautiful area I wish I knew more about. Its amazing that we discover at least 1 or 2 new species in the ocean everyday. You really think about that its almost unbelievable. I miss surfing in the ocean, I miss diving in the ocean, but most of all I miss the atmosphere of being at the ocean. It is the most peaceful set of mind I have ever had. Just sitting there looking out and all you see is ocean. Many people fear the ocean as if they will be hurt in it or even killed. Although this is true many don’t realize that they are just as likely on land to be hurt or killed by something. A car accident, falling at great heights, or even a simple thing such as a paper cut. Every place on this earth has danger. The ocean is full of secrets. I have always wanted to explore the deep ocean, maybe explore titanic, or discover numerous cities that are now underwater. I really want to swim with many fish I have never seen though. I see so many people on videos and on TV go through coral reefs that contain so many fish in it you are dazzled by whats really happening. I wish I could do that.

Happiness

Happiness. Right now I am very happy. I have so many things going for me at this point in time. I am doing well in school, I just performed with my band to a sold out show this past weekend, I am talking to a beautiful girl I have so much in common with, and I am healthy! This past weekend I had forgotten how much fun it was to perform in front of a crowd. I play heavy metal so I enjoy seeing the crowd react by headbanging, starting moshpits, and stage diving. Seeing people getting into our music when we put so much time and dedication into writing the best possible songs we can. Here recently I have been talking to a girl named Emily. She is fantastic in almost any way I can imagine. She loves hockey just as much as I do, has the same morals, and is a very mature human being. She has been through a lot and it blows me away how hapy of a person she really is. To have gone through the things she has would either make her or break her. She is fun, energetic, and crazy but in a good way. She gives me the jitters sometimes. I get nervous around her. Which is saying a lot for someone like me. She makes me very happy. I have also been taking care of myself lately very well. A year ago I started working out and have been stuck on it ever since. I enjoy it so much and have been learning to eat better and more frequently. I have gained 40 lbs in a year of working out. Its an addiction that I am more than willing to continue until the day I pass on. It gives me a natural high feeling like I could conquer the world with whatever I wanted to do. Which just so happens to be music. Music makes me happy. Even the depressing stuff that talks about some verysad things makes me happy because I feel amazing that I can feel that way with someone elses music. It is incredible to feel the feelings we do when listening to music. So I guess yeah I am a very happy person right now. I got so many things going great for me and I want to continue that. Being happy is the most important thing to me in life. Its all I ever stride for. I also enjoy making other people ehappy too though. Take Emily for example. All I want is to make her happy as well because of how she makes me feel. She considers my feelings in just about every situation. She is selfless. Its so rare to find that in someone. We both have talked about just being happy together. 

I believe in the power of will

John Bonds

Mrs. Anthony

English 101     

March 6, 2015

I believe in the power of will. I am an individual who has been through a lot and overcame all of it. Will power is what I live off of. I feel it is what anyone should live off of. I grew up with a family that didn’t have the best intentions for themselves. When it came to my siblings and I, caring was never the problem. They loved and cared for us just as any parent should. I guess when it came down to it they suffered from addiction and it got the best of them throughout my teenage years. When you witness loved ones go through something like that, especially ones who are supposed to guide you through life before releasing you into the “wild”, some seek anything that will make them happy or numb the feeling of pain they are going through. I wasn’t one of those people. I just wanted to be away from all of it. I wanted adventure and to see things many people had never seen before. For years I told myself “it will not always be like this, and one day you will be able to live your own life with this staying in your past.” Turns out I was right.

I never expected myself to have the journey I have had in the 6 years I have lived on my own. I have done so many things some people will never be able to say they achieved their entire lives. I have been rock climbing, raced rally cars, skydived numerous times in many locations, traveled all over the country meeting fascinating people, witnessed the most amazing sights, and even swam with sharks. All of them having small fears being brought in as a main factor. The fear of heights, of getting hurt, and even the fear of being killed. Will power is an amazing thing when you can use it to your advantage. You can accomplish so much. I did those things only because I had the will to put myself in danger for the chance of having the time of my life. I have no regrets at all.

Out of all the things I have driven myself to do, the one that sticks out the most in my memory is swimming with the black tipped reef sharks. Reaching anywhere from 3-6 feet in length they were rather large creatures. I, like many people in this world, have had a natural fear of sharks ever since I was a small boy. Thinking they were just going to eat me if they saw me and they were nothing but human killing machines. When in all reality that isn’t true. They are interesting creatures to say the least. Even though I was absolutely terrified to jump in the shark infested waters I decided that this was a once in a lifetime opportunity and jumped in. I immediately started sinking to the bottom with my father and a professional diver alongside me. It was around 30-40 feet of beautiful blue water you could see all the way down. They swam all around us looking for food and being very curious as to what we were and what our intentions were. They would look you straight in the eye as they swam by you but not with a mean look, more on a curious look. I lost myself when at the bottom being mesmerized by what I was seeing. Roughly 20 sharks all being as big as me just living naturally in their world. It was incredible and nonetheless the most amazing sight, feeling, and moment of my life. Will brought me to that feeling.

I believe Will is something many people struggle to have. For example growing up through my teen years I noticed a close friend who had a problem with having the will to better himself in any way. I never really understood this but it happened on a regular basis. He grew up with a tough life most do not have to go through. His mother left him behind at the age of 8 and he had a father who was an alcoholic. He never got the guidance a child needed but the kid was smart. Throughout grade school he always had good grades and was very bright according to my mother who was an English teacher at the school. Once high school started he never had the will to be great. He never cared to do well in class and I feel his father held a big part in that. But in another aspect I noticed that he could have proved to his dad who he really was if he had the will to do it. He could show everyone out there that he was an amazing individual and not do it for them at all but do it for himself. To see that he was an amazing person. I saw it in him and so did many teachers. He got help throughout our entire school years. He chose the wrong path and I haven’t seen him in years. It is sad and it often crosses my mind on how things could have been different with him.

Will can go so far for anyone. With will you can become what you’ve always dreamed. You can do things you never thought would be possible. Be a person you never saw yourself to be. It can destroy you, and it can make you who you are. Will is always going to be a critical thing in my life. It has made me see what I can do in this incredible world during my time in it. I wasn’t put on this earth to pay bills and then pass on. I strive to live and will remain that way until I pass on and I encourage everyone in life to be that way. Because life is short and you never know what will happen. So live it up and enjoy it all.

Invisibility

                If I were invisible I would start by getting close up to the animals humans rarely can interact with. Wolves, Deer, Bears, and all kinds of animals like that. I will be honest there is a part of me that would want to mess with people like im a ghost or something. Im not sure if I would be able to interact with objects or people but I would just do little things. Like blow their hair or pick up random things in front of them. I feel that would be very entertaining to myself. I would like to see a lot of things you don’t get to see such as government buildings or if there really is an area 51. I feel like it would be very interesting to see what is in those buildings or anything for that matter when it comes to government. I would walk in the billionaires club to see what it was like. What they did or how they spent their meetings. I am just curious if they like to talk about how rich they are or if they talk about how to remain rich or if they should invest in things. I would like to see what people think of me. I personally don’t care if they like me or not but I am interested in what people actually think of me that I have known for a long time. I have never asked. I would watch some babies be born to many random people. I know that sounds rather weird but I feel like it would be a good experience. I didn’t get to see my son be born so I feel like it would be a great experience to watch because I don’t plan on having anymore children. I would see if I jumped off a building if I would feel the fall or just witness the sights. I guess that is a little crazy because you could die. I just don’t really want to live life invisible. I enjoy interacting with people and doing things people can notice. I don’t think I could be an invisible person I would be very depressed. 

Shark Experience

                It was a Saturday morning at 9 am and my father and I were on our way out into the ocean. He was going to take me diving. I had never done this before and I just got my scuba license. I was very nervous and he looked at me and said don’t be afraid you will really enjouy this. We looked into the water and we were looking about 30 feet deep. The water was so blue you could see the bottom of the ocean floor. We hired a professional diver to take us out there and I had no idea what was in store for us. We jumped in and swam to the bottom. In the very beginning I saw a few schools aof fish and a few smaller stingrays and even spotted a giant stringray. We got to the bottom and I noticed the boat captain threw something in the water. Looked kinda orange but had tiny chunks in it. I was just swimming around until I was directed to come near my father and the professional diver Nick. We sat in one tosspot and I noticed not even 5 mintues later a few reef sharks. I am very terriedied of sharks at this point because I do not understand them in any way except they areman eating machines. The diver told me to keep calm and not kget starteled. I noticed that the shark had come up to the diver who had a container in his hand and the diver took a small fish out and fed the shark like it was nothing. He grazed his hand over his fin and the shark was enjoying his company. Not even 10 minutes later we were surrounded by at least 15 reef sharks measuring anywhere between 6-10 feet long some even shorter. He was enjoying feeding them and I had no chainmal armor on so I wasn’t trying anything. I found myself in a trance with them. Ihad forgotten my fear for them completely. They were so fascinating and the wmoment was so calm. Once I had this thought and realized it I noticed the diver petting a shark on its snout. The shark immediately stopped moving and sank to the ocean floor. Only moving its fins I was very confused but amazed. He picked the shark up and brought it over to us and we were able to pet it. The shark did not mind at all. It seemed like a gentle beast. It reminded me of a dog getting its belly rubbed. It could not move and it was just stuck there, the only difference with the dog is it would kick its leg. After letting us pet the shark he brought the shark up completely vertically while continuing to rub its snout. It was completely vertical staring into the hoean floor while its tail was facing the top of the water. The diver was yelling woo hoo so many times and I was just completely in shock. WI was asking myself why.

After letting us pet the shark he brought the shark up completely vertically while continuing to rub its snout.

The shark seemed so calm almost like it completely trusted the diver. It was completely aware of what was going on. It wasn’t asleep or anything just letting Nick do whaterer he pleased. After letting the shark down and swim off the sharks started to swarm him. Not to attack or bite or even get the fish. They wanted him to perform what he did to the first shark on them as well. It was insane and I started to view the sharks as pets even though they were the mot agressibe creature in the ocean. You could tell a difference of the 1^st shark from all the others. It had a rope in its mouth. Not quite sure how it got there but I feel nick chose that shark for a reason because once he had pet a few of the other sharks that same shark came back and let him do it to him again. Once he let the shark down it continued to push its snout into his abdomen. After about 10 minutes of swimming with the sharks and witnessing this incredible moment we swam to the surface. I couldn’t help but just yell WJOO when getting the scuba gear off. I was in complete shock almost. I couldn’t believe what I just witnessed. I asked the diver what in the world was he doing dto make the shark do that. He called it tonic immobility. He explained that the sharks have sensors on their snouth that pick up electric pulses. He continued by saying this is 

Conflicts

It is kind of funny that this video came up. I have always believed in fear being similar to stress in certain situations. Your body gets shaky, your hands sweat, your heart pounds, and you even get a little bit of nausea sometimes. Through fighting in MMA for 2 years I learned that it is your bodies way of responding to a situation your brain realizes its going to go through. You use it to your advantage and so many things can happen. In a life or death situation your body responds like that, for example, when I was in my car accident I was hit in my ford ranger by a car going 70 mph when I was at a dead stop. I saw the car only a second before the impact and felt immediately my stomach drop. I had my girlfriend at the time in the middle and my best friend in the passenger seat. We were shot up in the air and everything slowed down dramatically. Almost like you see in the movies. It was the last thing I remember and it was my response to making sure I was going to get out of this. In the time we were in the air I had thrown my hand down to keep my girlfriend in her seat and it somehow worked.

Right now I have a few conflicts in life. First off I am fighting a sinus infection. Have been for about 5 days and I really hate going to the doctor. I take really good care of my body and I hate when I am sick so much it stresses me out because I am always needing to do something. Right now it is focus on school and continue my fitness training. I have trouble with both when I am sick. Another conflict is seeing someone I have cared about for a long time beating herself up for things that are out of her control. She gets down on herself so much that she doesn’t eat. She doesn’t take care of herself almost like she doesn’t care for herself. Which she should because she is a good person. I don’t like seeing those I care about and see great things in become so depressed with themselves that they cant even get out of bed. I have never had that situation so its hard for me to understand. The last conflict I am having right now is the conflict of not being able to work out. I absolutely love working out and it makes me feel fantastic and anytime I cannot work out for a while it just makes me stressed and I hate it. I have been sick and its best not to workout so your body has the energy and strenghth to fight off the infection. It is something else to just not be able to do what you love everyday because of little things like this.

Im sure my sinuses would say that’s what you get for living in Missouri. So deal with it. I believe the person I care about would just say I don’t understand how she feels and never will. Which she is probably right. I wish I could understand. She has been through a lot and I know that. I just wish she would be happy. Working out will come again. The day I will get to is going to be fantastic. I will be so happy. I will push really hard to make sure I can get back on track for training season. I miss squats, deadlifts, and bench. I know they miss me as well

What I do realize though is with this sickness I will be grateful for feeling normal again. Sicknesses happen even when you do take good care of yourself. Its unfortunate but its life. There are things that are out of my control and that is what is going on with this specific person. I will not be able to influence her on how to think. I have tried numerous times and I hope she is happy in the end. I am only human. Things happen in life all the time that aren’t good then some are really good. Sometimes you have to fight the bad days to have some of the best days of your life. For example this cold right now. After I am over this I will be able to work out and continue on with the life I am loving right now. I love life currently and am ready to get back in it.