Conflicts

It is kind of funny that this video came up. I have always believed in fear being similar to stress in certain situations. Your body gets shaky, your hands sweat, your heart pounds, and you even get a little bit of nausea sometimes. Through fighting in MMA for 2 years I learned that it is your bodies way of responding to a situation your brain realizes its going to go through. You use it to your advantage and so many things can happen. In a life or death situation your body responds like that, for example, when I was in my car accident I was hit in my ford ranger by a car going 70 mph when I was at a dead stop. I saw the car only a second before the impact and felt immediately my stomach drop. I had my girlfriend at the time in the middle and my best friend in the passenger seat. We were shot up in the air and everything slowed down dramatically. Almost like you see in the movies. It was the last thing I remember and it was my response to making sure I was going to get out of this. In the time we were in the air I had thrown my hand down to keep my girlfriend in her seat and it somehow worked.

Right now I have a few conflicts in life. First off I am fighting a sinus infection. Have been for about 5 days and I really hate going to the doctor. I take really good care of my body and I hate when I am sick so much it stresses me out because I am always needing to do something. Right now it is focus on school and continue my fitness training. I have trouble with both when I am sick. Another conflict is seeing someone I have cared about for a long time beating herself up for things that are out of her control. She gets down on herself so much that she doesn’t eat. She doesn’t take care of herself almost like she doesn’t care for herself. Which she should because she is a good person. I don’t like seeing those I care about and see great things in become so depressed with themselves that they cant even get out of bed. I have never had that situation so its hard for me to understand. The last conflict I am having right now is the conflict of not being able to work out. I absolutely love working out and it makes me feel fantastic and anytime I cannot work out for a while it just makes me stressed and I hate it. I have been sick and its best not to workout so your body has the energy and strenghth to fight off the infection. It is something else to just not be able to do what you love everyday because of little things like this.

Im sure my sinuses would say that’s what you get for living in Missouri. So deal with it. I believe the person I care about would just say I don’t understand how she feels and never will. Which she is probably right. I wish I could understand. She has been through a lot and I know that. I just wish she would be happy. Working out will come again. The day I will get to is going to be fantastic. I will be so happy. I will push really hard to make sure I can get back on track for training season. I miss squats, deadlifts, and bench. I know they miss me as well

What I do realize though is with this sickness I will be grateful for feeling normal again. Sicknesses happen even when you do take good care of yourself. Its unfortunate but its life. There are things that are out of my control and that is what is going on with this specific person. I will not be able to influence her on how to think. I have tried numerous times and I hope she is happy in the end. I am only human. Things happen in life all the time that aren’t good then some are really good. Sometimes you have to fight the bad days to have some of the best days of your life. For example this cold right now. After I am over this I will be able to work out and continue on with the life I am loving right now. I love life currently and am ready to get back in it.