What if I had never been born

What if I had never been born?

What if Russia had not taken the nukes out of cuba?

What if I had to never worry about money again? *

What if I had been born a girl?

What if my step father had been my real father? *

What if I never knew I had a son?

What if I was a religious person?

What if I never had to do bad things to learn not to do bad things?

What if I never had my awesome dog? *

What if I never liked dating girls?

What if I never wanted to attend college?

What if I never had done drugs or drank before?

If my real father was my step father so much would be different. I was raised by my step fathers family so to me they are my family. I never was involved much eith my biological father. My mother met my step father Sam when I was 2 and he has raised me ever since. He is a great man. Taught me good morals and even taught me a thing or 2 about how cruel the world can be. He has his faults just like everyone else in the world but that is what makes him my father. I have been through hell and back with that side of my family and even though there is no blood relation, they all view me as one of their own. They are a Hispanic family. So family is everything to them. The typical stereotype. They fight, argue, and even talk down on one another every once in a while but all in all they would do anything for eachoter. Including myself. On my step fathers side I have so many people I feel I am blood related to. My cousin tony and I are much alike personality wise. Although he hasn’t made the best of decisions lately. We got along our entire childhood. On my biological side though I would have to say that there are some people I would miss. My brothers and sisters on his side, my grandmother, and my great grandparents. My fathers name is John. I was supposed to be a JR but my mother had a close friend who was killed in a car accident named Phillip so that is where I got my middle name versus being a JR named John Ray Bonds. I was ok with this. To tell people I was a Jr and have the same name as a person I don’t really know kind of seems like a waste to me. I wish almost all of the time I could change my last name to my step sides name. Ruiz. It is a common Hispanic name but its more than a name to me. It’s a symbol that I am a part of their family. The ones that raised me. I feel like a Ruiz more than a Bonds so why cant I have that name? Its rather bothering sometimes. A lot would be different. My looks, my personality, my perception on what life is I even feel would be different. Everything would be different. So in a way I wish I could be blood related to them. At the same time though I am completely satisfied with theway things are because I know they care for me much more than anyone could imagine.

If I had never been a drinker of alcohol or had done drugs at all in my life I would have some pros and cons. I am a smarter individual and what I mean by that is I know what is right and what is wrong. Sometimes I have moments where I make bad descisions but I has always been on impulse of my emotions being out of whack. If I had never done drugs I would definitely be farther in life. Possibly done with college and making really good money with a well paying job. On the other hand I don’t feel I would be as happy. Which sounds kind of bad but because I have done these things I have become an open minded person. I don’t judge because I have been in those shoes. I view it as a medical problem not a crime to be addicted to something. Luckily I was never thrown in jail because I just made smarter decisions while under the influence. I learned a lot. I learned what it takes to kick horrible habits. Strength, Focus, Dedication, and the actual feeling of wanting to be a clean person. Not only did I learn I have been able to never even care for being under the influence again. I have no want to. It has helped me in so many ways become the person I am today. And I love the person I am today. I enjoy myself. So that is why I feel I am happier knowing the things I do.

What if I could time travel. If I could time travel there would be many things I would love to experience. To see the wars for what they actually were compared to what history says. If they were correct or missing many key points. I would travel to some of the most monumental moments in history. I wouldn’t travel to the future though. Maybe once just to see what the year 3000 was like. I would have very big interests in the French revolution days as well as times of the depression. Just to witness things that people have been through. I continuously wonder what time travel would be like to. I would be very afraid to alter the past in some extreme way. Such as what if I had somehow stopped JFK from being assassinated? Would that have been a good thing or not? Its really hard to tell what would be good. I feel stopping 9/11 would be an awesome thing. Seeing how this war has been a complete waste of many great people and resources including money. I would want to witness if what started the Vietnam war actually happened. I feel just because of what family members have told me that it is a war very similar to what we are in now. I would want to meet Abraham Lincoln, the founding fathers, and so many people.